my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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