i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
only you would photoshop your dick
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Randomize
