Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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