Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Next time someone asks you what your spirit animal is do you really want to answer the iowa state fair butter cow?
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
