he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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