Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Randomize
