I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
