cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
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