All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
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