We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
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