I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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