Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Randomize
