Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I think I sprained my soul last night
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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