I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
