you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
