I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize