everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
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