just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Oh no that was the time I did the walk of shame with no shoes
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
