You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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