hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
