even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
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