I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Randomize
