i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
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