What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
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