Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
