Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
