Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize