Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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