i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
