Kiss
Puke
piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
