I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
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