gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
