Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
