i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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