and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
Randomize
