What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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