Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
