I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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