So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Randomize
