Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
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