I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
COOKIE DOUGH CUPCAKES ARE A THING
Did you really just send me a blank text in response to news as awesome as that?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
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