One girl and one boy is just not enough.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
Randomize
