I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I have funfetti in my underwear...will you come get me?
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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