why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
I'm just crazy horny about you
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
he had hair everywhere except his balls
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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