who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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