the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
