what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
