ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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