ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Just invented taco cereal.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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