now i know why i became what i already was.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
