Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
