Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
