She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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