haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
Randomize
