I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
he wants to bone in the snuggie
If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Randomize
