She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I did the mature thing and subtweeted that bitch. She follows me so she'll see.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
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