I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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