you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
