on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
