You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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