Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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