i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
We were destined to go to rehab together
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Randomize
