did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize