google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
We're too hungover to prance.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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