SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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